Hello friends! I really didn't know how many have been following this blog until I heard from two different people in two days that they noticed I haven't updated. That made me feel pretty good!
This has been a difficult week. I've been having a bad flare and am currently on a short medical leave from work. I miss my preschool kids and co teachers so much! I am in the middle of trying to get some of my medications changed and a healthy sleep pattern established. Last night I spent about 6 hours in the ER trying to get some relief from back, neck, and shoulder pain. Of course, I can't have just a normal visit and I reacted to one of the meds they gave me. It felt like I had restless leg syndrome all over my body and I had to continue punch, kick, and roll over to make the sensations go away. It was not much fun for Brian and Mom to have to watch.
There is always a silver lining and I was able to find it this week. I decided to keep Cole home with me and send Griffin to daycare. As I was laying in bed all of the time, Cole would bring book after book to my bedroom and read to me for hours on end. What a blessing!! I am so proud of the kid he is growing up to be. He can be a handful, but he is also empathetic, sweet, smart, and so stinkin funny. I just love him and feel so lucky that he is mine.
Griffin almost broke my heart last night. I was laying on the floor sobbing and screaming from pain. He knelt down by my side and gave me a hug. With giant tears in his eyes he said, "It's ok Mommy, you're ok!" He kept repeating it over and over and was more persistent each time he said it. My dad came and picked him up and he just sobbed and said he needed to be with his Mommy. It was so sweet and so sad at the same time.
This down time has given me a lot of time for contemplation and prayer. I haven't been praying for myself as much as I have been praying for all of those around me that are having their lives interrupted by fibromyalgia. Although I am the one feeling all of the symptoms, they are the ones that have to figure out how to work around my limitations. Here is my thank you note to them:
Dear Brian, I am so sorry I lost it this week and yelled at you. In our 9 years of marriage, raising our voices has been a rarity. Thank you for dealing with it head on and for so easily forgiving me when I figure out how out of control I was acting. You are an amazing husband, father, and friend. I know that you get frustrated, but you are there when I need you regardless. I love you and appreciate you for all that you do. You are my perfect match and I thank God for you.
Dear Mom and Dad, thank you for taking the kids when it is too much for me. Thank you for staying up all night at the ER and being an advocate for me when I can't find the strength to do it myself. Thank you for your support and love. Thanks for giving me a swift kick in the rear end when I need it and for giving me a big hug when nothing else will do. I am proud to be your daughter and I pray that I make you proud to be my parents.
Dear Gary, Debbie, Beth, and Jeff, thank you for always checking up on us and offering to help in any way you can. Not everyone is fortunate enough to have both sets of their children's grandparents in town and there are days I don't know what we would do without you.
Dear McKenna, you are the best sister in the world! Even when I can't fully describe how I'm feeling, you can sense it and help me out. You are an incredible aunt to my boys and a big help in my life.
Dear Amanda, we sure are a couple of basket cases, I can't believe Rita lets us work together. Thank you for your compassion and never making me feel bad when I'm just having a down day. Your ability to make me laugh is out of this world. You are your own person and you allow me to be my own too, for the good and the bad. I love you.
Dear Tricia, there are some days I wouldn't make it through the day without you. Having a person in the same building that can relate to what I'm feeling is a priceless gift. Plus, your office always smells so good! Love you!
Dear Annie, Judy, and Rachael, my dear co-workers. You all love fiercely and are compassionate people. Even when you yourselves are going through a hard time, you check on me and make sure I'm ok. I hope that I return the love to you in exchange. It is so nice knowing that I can call for prayers are any time and I know you will be on your knees. I am here to do the same for you and I keep all of you in my prayers daily.
Dear Rita, you're my boss and also my friend. You do a great job of balancing those and don't make me feel badly when I'm not 100%. Thank you.
Dear Larry, Nicole, Josh, Jenn, and Christy, I can't accurately put into words how much you mean to me. You are part of the foundation that keep me standing each and every day. You are good for a shoulder to cry on, a joke to put a smile on my face, and a nice addition to a bar stool when I just need a drink. I pray that you know how much I love you guys. There is not a dictionary big enough to find all of the words that would fully describe it.
I could go on and on and on. If I didn't mention your name, that doesn't mean it isn't in my heart.I choose to be a glass half-full kind of person, and I when I really stop to think about how lucky I am, I'm a glass overflowing kind of person.
LIFE IS GOOD!!
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